School is going to reopen tomorrow and I know there are some familiar faces are going to say farewell as I may not see them again. En, do u know that I always hope you can disappear in my view? Finally, I don't need to pray honestly to the shiniest lucky star during the peaceful night time, indeed my truly thought was opposite with the words which came out from my mouth. However, I think I wil be able to accept you as my friend like those days we used to have. Happy New Year to you, feel like knowing how was your days recently?
Sheng, I saw your photo just now and checked your updates in facebook as I always did. I think this already be one of my habit since I used to like you in the past. I feel sad cause I can't see you in school anymore or may be I should say this is used to be my habit but now I need to change it. That's why I feel something are different start from tomorrow. To me, you are really a special person that I have never met. The way you speak, the way u walk , I think I will remember and you always attracts my eyes and ears chase after you when you are around me. By the way, do u know that the best angle of you is when you are holding your camera to try to take some best shots. That is really can't turn my head to other place. Hope you keep this habbit as long as you are still having your favourite dslr. Good bye. Hope to see you again in somewhere else.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Saturday, December 17, 2011
梦无差
在孤独的夜晚里，我与凄美的旋律作为伴侣。音符的律动随着我悲鸣的叹气在我耳朵中徘徊，在那儿来来去去，不肯离开。心中的想法想脱口而出，却被我用一条无法解开的锁链紧紧套住。锁头在哪里？我不知道。钥匙在哪里？早就被我埋在深渊的心里，深得无论再怎样用力地去挖，都找不到。。。为什么父母总认为音乐家，蛋糕师等等都是学历不好的学生呢？难道永远只有“师”字牌的才是所谓的“知识人”？如果是这样，为什么父母要把含辛茹苦赚来的金钱送孩子们学这个学那个呢？不只是自己屈服在疲劳之下，连你们的心肝宝贝也受皮肉之苦。最后，你们却判断那不是“知识人”的职业，试问这样既费神又花费的才艺，却换来被你们弄得一文不值的结果。甘心吗？值得吗？不甘心也不值得。你们知道吗，对我们这些孩子们来说，有时候手艺并不只是单纯的手艺而已，它亦可以变成我们生命中不可或缺的一部分。其实并不是每个小孩都想当什么律师，老师，会计师之类的人物啊。偶尔也有一小部分的人想成为音乐家，室内设计师的人物。虽然并不是什么最会赚钱的人物，但也是一位有贡献的人士。正所谓：行行出状元，职业五分贵贱。凡事不去试试是不永远都不会知道事物的结果，而且人生并不像音乐播放机一样可以无数次地重复的播放，听腻了，去把cd换掉，就好了。但人生只有一次，青春也只有一次，初恋永远也只可以经历一次，无论你是有钱人或贫穷人。 爸爸，妈妈。。。有时候请你们慷慨地把手放开，让我们活出自我的人生，好吗？
Sunday, December 11, 2011
A Night With Book
Something happened tonight. Something 's really special and unique, you might see it once in your life or you would never see it like some people who never saw the sun rise like me. One of my friend did ask me to go out and look up at the starry night. I didn't go out and ignored him too. In fact, I chose to continue lying on the bed and reading my favourite book. After I enjoyed reading the amazing novel( you're the apple of my eye), I took a short time to clean myself. I felt fresh and comfortable like breathing in some fresh air at the top of Himalaya Mountain and witnessed the raising of the eye of heaven. Back to the book, it was more easy to understand than those english books I used to read or maybe I was not good enough in understanding the language. The book writer was excellent in describing the situation he used to experience somehow the way he wrote was kinda rude sometimes. The book was talking about school life, love, friendship and more. It wasn't a fiction but a reality life of the writer.
After I signed in to my facebook account, I saw something about the changes of moon which was going to happend tonight. However, I interested in reading the book and imagined the scene rather than going out to see the moon. Soon, I sat on a chair which was made of wood and pillow as my fingers were jumping here and there on the keyboard. I wish to write more but it's time to move out for heading to the dreamland. So, good night and hope to see the one I'm waiting for in the dreamland.
After I signed in to my facebook account, I saw something about the changes of moon which was going to happend tonight. However, I interested in reading the book and imagined the scene rather than going out to see the moon. Soon, I sat on a chair which was made of wood and pillow as my fingers were jumping here and there on the keyboard. I wish to write more but it's time to move out for heading to the dreamland. So, good night and hope to see the one I'm waiting for in the dreamland.
Friday, December 9, 2011
茶。怀
寂静的空中布满耀眼的星星，秀丽的月亮独自在那儿观看宇宙间的美色。而平凡的我则坐在新颖的电脑前，正在与键盘来个甜蜜般的谈情说爱。我终于摆脱了振恩与我之间拖拖拉拉，毫无结果的爱情悬崖。原来以前是自个儿一股傻劲地跌进了高深莫测的黑洞里，我选择在那儿徘徊，深信着你会回来。但现实与幻想是有区别的，是我误会了你的言语，以为还可以回到过去，但还是谢谢你曾经说过，别理会别人的眼光在学校陪我。你知道吗。。。那时侯，虽然我觉得有点受宠若惊，但心里还是觉得很窝心，很温暖仿佛在春天里自己被一团缤纷的花蕾包围住。很希望时间可以像我一样赖着不走，永远待在那儿快乐的时光。即使结果不是很好，我还是觉得很幸运我们曾经是如此地相爱。
最近爱上了喝茶，尤其是茉莉花茶。当喝下一口热热的花茶，心就不由自主地安定下来，脑袋也会识相地在平静的地带寻找停顿的空位。那感觉犹如我与这繁忙的世界隔开了，去了另一个时空似的。最近啊。。。也迷上了一个男生呢。。。是喜欢吗？还是只是单纯地迷恋？我不知道。只知道你的出现是我害羞的时候，你的字语是我快乐的时候，开始对你一切的点点滴滴感到有兴趣。不是说好在12月要约我出去吗？你。。。知道我是以怎样的心情等待的吗？是期待又稍微带点紧张的心情哦。。。所以快点选好地点与时间吧。
最近爱上了喝茶，尤其是茉莉花茶。当喝下一口热热的花茶，心就不由自主地安定下来，脑袋也会识相地在平静的地带寻找停顿的空位。那感觉犹如我与这繁忙的世界隔开了，去了另一个时空似的。最近啊。。。也迷上了一个男生呢。。。是喜欢吗？还是只是单纯地迷恋？我不知道。只知道你的出现是我害羞的时候，你的字语是我快乐的时候，开始对你一切的点点滴滴感到有兴趣。不是说好在12月要约我出去吗？你。。。知道我是以怎样的心情等待的吗？是期待又稍微带点紧张的心情哦。。。所以快点选好地点与时间吧。
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Do You Ever Knw That I Miss U So Much?
Today was another sunny day. The eye of heaven shone brightly in the blue sky, the ray of sun light passed through the car's window as I sat in the car and wished u to pass ur SPM with flying colour. Did u sneeze yeterday? I mentioned about u a lot to my best friend yesterday. Happiness, sadness and more... Do u still remember that we used to fall in love, we used to stick together like twins who are unable to be seperated? Although my mind clearly knw that everything has changed and it is impossible back to those days we used to have, I still miss u so much.
I'm so regret the choice that I used to make, may be it's really a mistaken and now I'm hopefully everything can back to normal. Can we?
I'm so regret the choice that I used to make, may be it's really a mistaken and now I'm hopefully everything can back to normal. Can we?
Thursday, September 29, 2011
选择
一间屋子很多人进进出出，很多脸孔在街上徘徊。有陌生的，也有熟悉的，而我的心则是在“继续”与“放弃”之间徘徊。最近发生了一些事情，让我的信心就在那犹如流星划过天空的一瞬间消失了。。。终于我做了一个选择，我选择离开你们，毕竟我们的想法实在是太不一样了。那些日子里，有开心的也有心酸的，我也从中受益良多，但问题始终还是解决不了。只要一天有佩元在，我的烦恼还是会跟她共存，当初的我可能真的做错了决定。对她们严厉，只想她们有更完美的演出，结果得来的只是认为我欺负她们了，自以为是的评语以及等等。我做事情，不祈求得到称赞但也没必要给我这样的评语吧。或许现在读着这篇日记的你们觉得我很蠢，为了一个这样的人放弃了自己最喜欢的东西。但我不打算就这样放弃，等她们表演完了，我会创造一个全新的组合，呈现一个更精彩的演出！Everlasting BSB，你们加油吧！
佩元啊。。。既然你那么希望带领人，那我把整个队送你，所有事情你拿主意。很多问题都是来自于你那张嘴巴，有时你少出点声，没人会把你当哑巴！我真的很不想跟你合作，对我来说你往往都会把事情搞砸，幸亏我的组反对你加入，而且你也不配进我的组！恭喜你，成功了影响宝儿。这次我给你一个考验，以便提醒你那张嘴，成功的话，就恭喜你！失败的话，与我无关了，你就漫漫地跟他们交代吧！
嫣珊。。。说真的自从我听了那些流言后，我开始对你我之间的友情动摇了。我一直以为你很了解我，我对你说的那番话，我以为你会懂其中的含义，但我还是太高估你了。这次真的是我太自以为是了。雯晴说得对，我真的做得太错了，所以我选择放弃你们。你们应该也比较高兴，毕竟再也没有人管制你们了。其实我很想问你，你真的认为那天我是在欺负你吗？？
佩元啊。。。既然你那么希望带领人，那我把整个队送你，所有事情你拿主意。很多问题都是来自于你那张嘴巴，有时你少出点声，没人会把你当哑巴！我真的很不想跟你合作，对我来说你往往都会把事情搞砸，幸亏我的组反对你加入，而且你也不配进我的组！恭喜你，成功了影响宝儿。这次我给你一个考验，以便提醒你那张嘴，成功的话，就恭喜你！失败的话，与我无关了，你就漫漫地跟他们交代吧！
嫣珊。。。说真的自从我听了那些流言后，我开始对你我之间的友情动摇了。我一直以为你很了解我，我对你说的那番话，我以为你会懂其中的含义，但我还是太高估你了。这次真的是我太自以为是了。雯晴说得对，我真的做得太错了，所以我选择放弃你们。你们应该也比较高兴，毕竟再也没有人管制你们了。其实我很想问你，你真的认为那天我是在欺负你吗？？
Saturday, October 9, 2010
What A Day
Today is saturday, a day with tuition. I remember this morning was warm, lovely and comfortable in its adolesence. I woke up at 9a.m to have a chinese tuition class and I was teaching by my mom's friend. The teacher was absolutely funny because I was the one who ask question. The funniest is when I was asking her a question, she answered me" I'm asking you now, why do you ask me?" At the moment, I don't know what should I reply and how should I reply the question that she asked. The one thing that I knew was I couldn't tease her, because of my mom. Her teaching was not bad yet chinese. I noticed she had no confident to answer those questions that I asked because of those words she used to answer me. I think this is the main reason.
I came back from tuition centre at 7:30p.m. I had a nice dinner with my family and my mom was the chef. Before that, I already had a dinner with my friends at KFC reastaurant. So, I ate not much in the dinner which was having with my family. After that, I asked a permission from my father for going to Genting with friends in November. At first, he was satisfied whatever I said. When I mentioned 5persons in one room, he looks scary and angry. From the words he used, I knew he was extremely angry but I don't know the reason he angry. I really don't understand why was he angry. These days, I don't even know how should I communicate with my family, especially my parents.
How should I make a choice in love? I knew cs loves me so much and he really knows how to take care of me. Kim told me she prefer cs more than ts and en, she has no worry to let cs takes care of me. But still, I don't think we'll fall in love. I think the main reason comes from me. I was kinda happy to chat with ts in msn just now, I did tell myself he is falling in love with a girl that I know who she is. I feel sorry to cs, even he doesn't know it. It doesn't mean I don't love him, but his ambition is absolutely like a fairy tale story. I don't rely on him. Few months ago, he told me he found a job for filling up his time after spm. But few weeks ago, he told me he cancelled the job because it has no relation with his ambition in the future. I had nothing to say after he told me this.
I came back from tuition centre at 7:30p.m. I had a nice dinner with my family and my mom was the chef. Before that, I already had a dinner with my friends at KFC reastaurant. So, I ate not much in the dinner which was having with my family. After that, I asked a permission from my father for going to Genting with friends in November. At first, he was satisfied whatever I said. When I mentioned 5persons in one room, he looks scary and angry. From the words he used, I knew he was extremely angry but I don't know the reason he angry. I really don't understand why was he angry. These days, I don't even know how should I communicate with my family, especially my parents.
How should I make a choice in love? I knew cs loves me so much and he really knows how to take care of me. Kim told me she prefer cs more than ts and en, she has no worry to let cs takes care of me. But still, I don't think we'll fall in love. I think the main reason comes from me. I was kinda happy to chat with ts in msn just now, I did tell myself he is falling in love with a girl that I know who she is. I feel sorry to cs, even he doesn't know it. It doesn't mean I don't love him, but his ambition is absolutely like a fairy tale story. I don't rely on him. Few months ago, he told me he found a job for filling up his time after spm. But few weeks ago, he told me he cancelled the job because it has no relation with his ambition in the future. I had nothing to say after he told me this.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
。。。我很想离开这个家。。。
每个人都说“家”是一个很开心，很温软的地方，但为什么我越大就越不喜欢呢？最近我一直重复地问自己，也曾经很努力地寻找这个答案。最终，我还是找不到它。有时我宁愿去补习，也不愿待在家；宁愿在外面，也不想回家。以前的我很喜欢这个家，但最近的我已经不喜欢了。我甚至觉得待在这个家，很压力，只会悲伤而已。我只是想一个人待在家，但不想跟家人在一起。有时，我也想过如果我从没出世在这个家，那该有多好。如果上天没收了我的生命，也未必不是件好事。
有一天，我因为一些事情而跟父母吵架了。那一天，我们吵得很厉害。同时，我的心也更加封闭了。现在的我只想做一个他们开心就好的玩偶，反正说多了只会吵架而已。这一次的吵架，他们都觉得我就是那个罪毁祸首。或许我是，但他们有没有想过我只是需要一个拥抱而已，却换来了这样的代价。他们知道这是什么感觉吗？最近都在考试，压力很大，难免都会出错啊！难道不行吗？我不是一个没主意的人，只是心很乱，不知道要怎样做决定而已。这样都有错吗？
在这世界的原则还真不公平，父母可以毫无保留的伤害我们，残忍地摧毁我们软弱的心灵。我们却不可以，只要做了，都会被人认为这是不孝的行为。为什么？！难道就只因为他们生育我，养育我们，所以就有这个权利？！如果是这样的话，那我宁远离开他们又或者未曾来过这个世界。面对他们，我只有无奈，悲伤以及一些等等的负面情绪。我不是要很奢侈的要求，只是希望你们可以用心去听，去探索我另一面而已，不行吗？
这一次，我真的累了。。。我已经负担不了那承重的包裹了。。。无奈。。。压力。。。悲伤。。。一切的一切，我都想把他们统统都丢到一边去。累了，真的累了。。。
有一天，我因为一些事情而跟父母吵架了。那一天，我们吵得很厉害。同时，我的心也更加封闭了。现在的我只想做一个他们开心就好的玩偶，反正说多了只会吵架而已。这一次的吵架，他们都觉得我就是那个罪毁祸首。或许我是，但他们有没有想过我只是需要一个拥抱而已，却换来了这样的代价。他们知道这是什么感觉吗？最近都在考试，压力很大，难免都会出错啊！难道不行吗？我不是一个没主意的人，只是心很乱，不知道要怎样做决定而已。这样都有错吗？
在这世界的原则还真不公平，父母可以毫无保留的伤害我们，残忍地摧毁我们软弱的心灵。我们却不可以，只要做了，都会被人认为这是不孝的行为。为什么？！难道就只因为他们生育我，养育我们，所以就有这个权利？！如果是这样的话，那我宁远离开他们又或者未曾来过这个世界。面对他们，我只有无奈，悲伤以及一些等等的负面情绪。我不是要很奢侈的要求，只是希望你们可以用心去听，去探索我另一面而已，不行吗？
这一次，我真的累了。。。我已经负担不了那承重的包裹了。。。无奈。。。压力。。。悲伤。。。一切的一切，我都想把他们统统都丢到一边去。累了，真的累了。。。
Friday, March 26, 2010
How Should I Solve It?
I hate to talk to my parents recently. The worst is I don't want to talk to them not even a single word. To be honest, they really broke my heart after those stupid fighting. I feel desperate to them and I don't want to face them. I answered their question as short as I can and I feel nothing to say to them. I don't want to tell them about my secret or sadness anymore, cause they will mention it and break my heart when we fight. I think they noticed my weird acting and they asked me the reason, but I don't want to answer it. I seldom have my dinner at night because I am not in mood to have it. What and how should I do? Who can help me, pls? Anyone? HAIZzzz...
Our relationship is getting better now, we chat in msn but at school. Even though I answered "oo", he will also type some sentences. His answer is getting longer and longer. I felt happy for that, but I am worrying about something now. I realised he looks at shuyen sometimes, but I am not sure for that because I always stick with shuyen. I told this to kim, she suggested I should try to walk around him sometimes but I don't dare to do it. I don't knw why I can't face him so far? If he liked shuyen, I think I will be ok for that. HAIZzzz.....
Our relationship is getting better now, we chat in msn but at school. Even though I answered "oo", he will also type some sentences. His answer is getting longer and longer. I felt happy for that, but I am worrying about something now. I realised he looks at shuyen sometimes, but I am not sure for that because I always stick with shuyen. I told this to kim, she suggested I should try to walk around him sometimes but I don't dare to do it. I don't knw why I can't face him so far? If he liked shuyen, I think I will be ok for that. HAIZzzz.....
Thursday, March 18, 2010
~~~离别前的饯行~~~
今天跟一大班朋友出去玩，还蛮开心的。其实今天是帮sean饯行，我们去吃buffer，唱K还有在timesquare逛街。大概到了晚上八点，我们才肯回家。他即将移民去澳洲，以后要看到他，真的很难了。我们拍了很多照片，好让我们纪念彼此相处过的时间。虽然我对他的认识不久也不深，但我觉得他是一位值得交的男性朋友。他是我们班(3D)的班长，他很尽责，也很健谈。该玩的时候，他可以玩到很疯狂；该读书时，他比谁都认真。他真的是一位不错的班长，也是一位好朋友。在相处的过程中，我们都相处得还不错。
今天呢。。。我拍了很多照片。我好笑到走到哪儿，拍到哪儿。。。哈哈！无论今天谁有去，我都有拍。今天的出席人数还不错，有主角(sean)，xinjing，vanessa，kuokoon，pohshynn，kahching，looisun，yushin，karmun，shunyee，ginnie，sim，sim's friend(不懂是谁)，samantha，yoongxin还有我。最近都不懂怎样搞得？！第一个好友(amira)转去霹雳，这个更离谱，转去澳洲= ="将多人转，就是不见那些浑蛋转！HAIZZzzz...
我特地去跟sean拍合照，其实是另有目的啦。。。我想放在msn那边，看他会不会吃醋。我觉得应该不会(除非他也喜欢我啦)，但还是想试一试。同时可以让那个死horklick误会我有男朋友了，一举两得^^ 抱歉咯，班长~~~要把你摆上台。只希望不会做到反效果，就好了。昨天我还蛮开心的！我们聊了一下，但还是我主动找他啦。我问他，“不用睡吗？”他就说：“还有东西要做”。我听到时，还蛮心痛的，毕竟他每天都很迟才睡，又常生病。我就说：“噢噢，小心你的身体”他还回我：“你也是。”我当场开心到睡不着，就因为他简单又短略的关心。有时我还觉得自己蛮容易满足的，因为他很容易就可以操控我的情绪了。刚刚我还问他假期过得怎样，他说很闷。我就叫他去找朋友，他说没朋友。我说：“怎么可能，至少你还有lk跟horlick啊。”他就说：“那两个整天都忙着出去的。”那时的我真的很想跟他说，“我可以陪你啊！”但在现实里，我是不可能将说的。HAIZzzzz。。。现在的我只好尽量在假期里陪他咯。我真的很高兴，我跟他有将的进展。现在的我将高兴，不知现在的他是否也是将的心情呢？只希望我们以后的关系，只有有增无减^^
今天呢。。。我拍了很多照片。我好笑到走到哪儿，拍到哪儿。。。哈哈！无论今天谁有去，我都有拍。今天的出席人数还不错，有主角(sean)，xinjing，vanessa，kuokoon，pohshynn，kahching，looisun，yushin，karmun，shunyee，ginnie，sim，sim's friend(不懂是谁)，samantha，yoongxin还有我。最近都不懂怎样搞得？！第一个好友(amira)转去霹雳，这个更离谱，转去澳洲= ="将多人转，就是不见那些浑蛋转！HAIZZzzz...
我特地去跟sean拍合照，其实是另有目的啦。。。我想放在msn那边，看他会不会吃醋。我觉得应该不会(除非他也喜欢我啦)，但还是想试一试。同时可以让那个死horklick误会我有男朋友了，一举两得^^ 抱歉咯，班长~~~要把你摆上台。只希望不会做到反效果，就好了。昨天我还蛮开心的！我们聊了一下，但还是我主动找他啦。我问他，“不用睡吗？”他就说：“还有东西要做”。我听到时，还蛮心痛的，毕竟他每天都很迟才睡，又常生病。我就说：“噢噢，小心你的身体”他还回我：“你也是。”我当场开心到睡不着，就因为他简单又短略的关心。有时我还觉得自己蛮容易满足的，因为他很容易就可以操控我的情绪了。刚刚我还问他假期过得怎样，他说很闷。我就叫他去找朋友，他说没朋友。我说：“怎么可能，至少你还有lk跟horlick啊。”他就说：“那两个整天都忙着出去的。”那时的我真的很想跟他说，“我可以陪你啊！”但在现实里，我是不可能将说的。HAIZzzzz。。。现在的我只好尽量在假期里陪他咯。我真的很高兴，我跟他有将的进展。现在的我将高兴，不知现在的他是否也是将的心情呢？只希望我们以后的关系，只有有增无减^^
Monday, March 15, 2010
Having A Fight Recently
I moved to a new room recently. At the same time, I had a fight with my mom because of that room too. She moved my ex-room's things with herself. She did asked me to clean my things in that room, but I was really tired and I had a lot of homework during the holiday. I knew it was a reason to help myself get out of it but she never knew my feeling when she was scolding me. I always tell her about my sadness at school or some trouble that I don't know how to solve it. When she scolded me, she was using words of abuse and some words that will break my heart.
She keeps moving things into my new room and old room and I disliked it. She is easy to mad recently, is it because of she's going to be older and older in the future? I never knew the answer, she is the only one who knew the answer. I act cool in front of her and I always answer the questions which she asked as short as I can. I know it's not a good habbit but I can't control myself. Sometimes she scold me with the words of abuse, I am ok with that but mention my sadness. She said," you really have some problems with your attitude thats why your classmates hate you!", "don't tell me you trouble or sadness" and "don't tell me who hates you at school or anything". When I heard those words, it broke my heart and I cried sorrowly during these fews night.
I felt desperation and I just cried, I don't know what to do and how should I do. Even though she was mad, she also should not scold me like that. From that moment, I started to not telling her anything about me cause I don't want to get hurt again and again. I haven't settle the problems of ml and lk but my mom broke my heart again. I thought the meaning of "HOME" is to give a person full of warm, safe and happy. Now, what I get in this home?! I just get sad and lonely. There is no any different whether I am at school or at home, I am still getting hurt from them. It's just worse even worse when I tell them my secret or true feeling. I really can't take it anymore in this home. If I had the choice to move out, I think I will...
Yesterday was his birthday but I was not giving him a present, even though a simple wish"happy birthday". I think he won't care cause he knew a lot of beauty females' friends. I asked vanessa helped me said "happy birthday" to him and asked vanessa not to tell him I am the one who asked she to say. The next day, vanessa asked me ,"why don't you wish him yourself?" I don't knw why and I don't knw how to answer her question. Maybe I just don't knw how to talk to him or anything. It's been a long time that we are not talking at school or chat in msn. I don't knw how long and when it will end? I hope the GOD will help us to solve the problem. I am keeping fit because of him and want to get better whatever"inside" or "outside".
TO: Someone That I Missed
>>>>>>>>>HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY<<<<<<<<<
Hope you will keep smiling during all the days and times, keep up the good work in study. Hope you will become more handsome... XD
She keeps moving things into my new room and old room and I disliked it. She is easy to mad recently, is it because of she's going to be older and older in the future? I never knew the answer, she is the only one who knew the answer. I act cool in front of her and I always answer the questions which she asked as short as I can. I know it's not a good habbit but I can't control myself. Sometimes she scold me with the words of abuse, I am ok with that but mention my sadness. She said," you really have some problems with your attitude thats why your classmates hate you!", "don't tell me you trouble or sadness" and "don't tell me who hates you at school or anything". When I heard those words, it broke my heart and I cried sorrowly during these fews night.
I felt desperation and I just cried, I don't know what to do and how should I do. Even though she was mad, she also should not scold me like that. From that moment, I started to not telling her anything about me cause I don't want to get hurt again and again. I haven't settle the problems of ml and lk but my mom broke my heart again. I thought the meaning of "HOME" is to give a person full of warm, safe and happy. Now, what I get in this home?! I just get sad and lonely. There is no any different whether I am at school or at home, I am still getting hurt from them. It's just worse even worse when I tell them my secret or true feeling. I really can't take it anymore in this home. If I had the choice to move out, I think I will...
Yesterday was his birthday but I was not giving him a present, even though a simple wish"happy birthday". I think he won't care cause he knew a lot of beauty females' friends. I asked vanessa helped me said "happy birthday" to him and asked vanessa not to tell him I am the one who asked she to say. The next day, vanessa asked me ,"why don't you wish him yourself?" I don't knw why and I don't knw how to answer her question. Maybe I just don't knw how to talk to him or anything. It's been a long time that we are not talking at school or chat in msn. I don't knw how long and when it will end? I hope the GOD will help us to solve the problem. I am keeping fit because of him and want to get better whatever"inside" or "outside".
TO: Someone That I Missed
Sunday, March 7, 2010
没人会听见的破碎声。。。
我到底要怎样才能不再想ml,lk跟horlick的事？！我的心真的很痛，也很彻底地碎了。为什么每次当我肯相信人时，都有人背叛我？一次又一次的伤害，只会让我把心封闭起来，也让我更想转校了。现在的我不知道要怎样面对他们？ml还邀请我去她的生日会，我不想去，更好笑的是lp问我：“不怕他生气？”。那我很想问回他，当初ml问lk的时候那问题，有没有想过现在的我，心有多痛，多难受。。。因为他们，我几乎每晚都在哭，也不想去学校了。拜托他讲话的时候，可不可以也把脑袋装进去。他到底知不知道，他所谓的无心只会让人受伤？！我没想过他既然会跑去跟sl说：“你的男友在沟我？”他以为他自己开玩笑，没事情，但他有没有在那男生的女友的立场想过这种玩笑会伤害到人？！他到底几时才肯好好地控制他那张嘴巴！
ml跟lk只是干兄妹，但我不明白他们为什么要将对我？！无论开玩笑还是说话的时候，都不经过脑袋的吗？！lk听到horlick跟我讲电话，也就算了，但没必要跟回我讲吧？！还跟我讲他几时，在哪里打给我。当他讲的时候，我真的不想知道，也不知道要把面子往哪里摆？我觉得我很没有隐私，就好像没穿衣一样。难道lk嫌他整天拿horlick来开我玩笑，还不够吗？他是不是很想我跟他反目成仇人，他才甘愿？！如果是的话，我可以成全他。有几次我跟horlick传简讯的内容，lk又跟回我讲。我真的觉得很丢脸啊！！！！
我猜lk应该把很多事情都告诉了他吧？！幸运的是他不像lk将，跟回我说。要不然，我真的会顶不顺。有时我在想，如果他真的是在学校看我的话，我们是否还有说话的机会呢？神啊~~~~请快点给我答案吧
ml跟lk只是干兄妹，但我不明白他们为什么要将对我？！无论开玩笑还是说话的时候，都不经过脑袋的吗？！lk听到horlick跟我讲电话，也就算了，但没必要跟回我讲吧？！还跟我讲他几时，在哪里打给我。当他讲的时候，我真的不想知道，也不知道要把面子往哪里摆？我觉得我很没有隐私，就好像没穿衣一样。难道lk嫌他整天拿horlick来开我玩笑，还不够吗？他是不是很想我跟他反目成仇人，他才甘愿？！如果是的话，我可以成全他。有几次我跟horlick传简讯的内容，lk又跟回我讲。我真的觉得很丢脸啊！！！！
我猜lk应该把很多事情都告诉了他吧？！幸运的是他不像lk将，跟回我说。要不然，我真的会顶不顺。有时我在想，如果他真的是在学校看我的话，我们是否还有说话的机会呢？神啊~~~~请快点给我答案吧
Friday, March 5, 2010
Basketball Training
I feel sad in this week because of some stuff. By the way, I fell down at school on Thursday and my knees was very pain. Today we had a basketball competition to choose 14 persons in our team that may join the basketball competition which is coming soon in April. At the begining, junior versus junior(except kim, peisee and me), I realised most of us improved a lot. Especially yen shan,she really worked hard during the basketball training. I noticed Ling en has a talent of sport, even though she is new, but her skill and speed is good. To be honest, I am quite envy of her talent. I need to work harder from now on, hahaaha~~~
I hate ml, lk and horlick now. I told ml about my secret last year. I thought she can be trusted, but I was wrong. I was feeling suspicious since last year. Why lk guessed he is the person I like without any hesitate?! Finally I knew the answer, it was ml told him. I remember I already told her not to tell anyone. I did ask her, did you tell anyone? She answered no. One day, she asked lk, are you knowing something? lk said, is it about ts and ly? She answered yes. I can't believe she said yes. Luckily I was not at there or else I will slap her or scold her. Today, she invited sy and me go to her house on 4 of April for her birthday party. Our answers are no, but we haven't tell her the answer, in deed.
The next is lk and horlick. Lk asked me something about horlick and he knew when horlick gave me a call? He remembered clearier than me, I don't even remember the day?! He keeps calling me"yenyen", because horlick always call me like that. I hate it and I am quite sure lk saw all those message in horlick's phone. After I knew, I was really angry because of that, but can he doesn't tell to me?! It's felt shy and I felt like I had not privacy. I hate this kind of feeling, I don't understand why ml and lk are same. Both of them were hurting me and it made me cried sadly. I hope I never knew ml, lk and horlick...
Did they knw it's really broke my heart and it made me cried every night. I realised lk is quite good in acting. When I was with kim, he acted like very friendly and passion. When I was alone or with other friends, he acted like he doesn't knw me or anything?! Before that, he was not like that, but I don't care anymore as long as he keeps away from kim.
Luckily, he was absent yesterday. If not, I don't knw what kind of emoction I can give him?! He came to school today. When I was around him, I felt like he was looking at me. I still can't comfirm for that. I wander when I can confirm it?! HAIZZzzzz~~~
I hate ml, lk and horlick now. I told ml about my secret last year. I thought she can be trusted, but I was wrong. I was feeling suspicious since last year. Why lk guessed he is the person I like without any hesitate?! Finally I knew the answer, it was ml told him. I remember I already told her not to tell anyone. I did ask her, did you tell anyone? She answered no. One day, she asked lk, are you knowing something? lk said, is it about ts and ly? She answered yes. I can't believe she said yes. Luckily I was not at there or else I will slap her or scold her. Today, she invited sy and me go to her house on 4 of April for her birthday party. Our answers are no, but we haven't tell her the answer, in deed.
The next is lk and horlick. Lk asked me something about horlick and he knew when horlick gave me a call? He remembered clearier than me, I don't even remember the day?! He keeps calling me"yenyen", because horlick always call me like that. I hate it and I am quite sure lk saw all those message in horlick's phone. After I knew, I was really angry because of that, but can he doesn't tell to me?! It's felt shy and I felt like I had not privacy. I hate this kind of feeling, I don't understand why ml and lk are same. Both of them were hurting me and it made me cried sadly. I hope I never knew ml, lk and horlick...
Did they knw it's really broke my heart and it made me cried every night. I realised lk is quite good in acting. When I was with kim, he acted like very friendly and passion. When I was alone or with other friends, he acted like he doesn't knw me or anything?! Before that, he was not like that, but I don't care anymore as long as he keeps away from kim.
Luckily, he was absent yesterday. If not, I don't knw what kind of emoction I can give him?! He came to school today. When I was around him, I felt like he was looking at me. I still can't comfirm for that. I wander when I can confirm it?! HAIZZzzzz~~~
Monday, March 1, 2010
~~~偷懒日~~~
今天是星期一，我又偷懒，不去学校了。上个星期一是为了拜天公，所以不去学校；没想到这个星期一是因为上云顶，很晚才回到家。我爸怕我上课会睡着，所以就不叫我起来了。虽然听少了一天的课，但我觉得很值得。一来可以休息，二来可以做功课。没上一两天的课，应不会有很多功课吧。刚刚问了looi今天的功课，我觉得还好啦。。。不会很多，也不会很少。
想起昨天的事，就觉得很开心，也很棒！现在回想起来，我跟他们(珊，雯，杰)都很久没见面了。他们三个是姐弟妹，大的那个就有一点弱智，第二的跟我比较熟，第三的小我一岁，但比我还成熟。我们平均每年只见一次面，毕竟他们都住在怡保。当我跟他们在一起时，真的很开心。我又有一个美好的回忆了！哈哈~~~我们也拍了很多照片，真高兴！！！
玩到"碰碰车"时，我还满生气的！有三个外人一直找我来撞，除此之外我还要应付雯跟杰，而且我还要载着珊，她说她不敢驾，那我不是好心载她咯。没想到将倒霉，一直给人撞。珊的体积比较大，然后她坐的时候，又把脚开大。搞到我被撞的时候，脚很痛。玩的时候，雯跟杰发现我脸黑黑，就问我怎么了？！但我没说，毕近在玩着。到最后，我简直就是气到不驾了！让那三个外人撞个够，谁知道他们撞到我们四个连在一起，动不了了。只要我摆一下车子，就可以动了，但我就是偏不动。他们看着我，我又看一下他们，然后就不懒得理他们了。那时的我，还真想说活该！结束时，杰跟雯就问我怎么了？！我就跟他们说了，然后杰就大声说：“谁？在哪里？我帮你报仇！”我心里很高兴，然后就跟他说算了吧。玩的同时，我有跟horlick和文明传简讯。horlick还说我怎么可以一心将多用，我也没想到我也可以将的。嘻嘻。。。除此之外，云顶放的烟花，都好美哦。。。应该很贵吧。。。哈哈！
看烟花的时候，雯还跟我讲，如果跟男朋友看，应该很浪漫吧？！我心里顿时想起了他，我觉得如果真的会发生的话，应该也不错吧。刚刚跟他聊了一下天，但没想到先说"哦"的人，既然是我。老实说，我不是很想去学校，至少可以不用看到他。我很想看他，但是偷偷的看。当他望过来时，我的头又别另一边去了。我不明白为什么我会躲他，但又想跟他聊聊天。我很想知道我们到底会不会有当面说话的一天呢？希望会有这一天的到来吧。。。我跟他的沟通问题到底要怎样，几时才能解决呢？HAIZZzzz......
想起昨天的事，就觉得很开心，也很棒！现在回想起来，我跟他们(珊，雯，杰)都很久没见面了。他们三个是姐弟妹，大的那个就有一点弱智，第二的跟我比较熟，第三的小我一岁，但比我还成熟。我们平均每年只见一次面，毕竟他们都住在怡保。当我跟他们在一起时，真的很开心。我又有一个美好的回忆了！哈哈~~~我们也拍了很多照片，真高兴！！！
玩到"碰碰车"时，我还满生气的！有三个外人一直找我来撞，除此之外我还要应付雯跟杰，而且我还要载着珊，她说她不敢驾，那我不是好心载她咯。没想到将倒霉，一直给人撞。珊的体积比较大，然后她坐的时候，又把脚开大。搞到我被撞的时候，脚很痛。玩的时候，雯跟杰发现我脸黑黑，就问我怎么了？！但我没说，毕近在玩着。到最后，我简直就是气到不驾了！让那三个外人撞个够，谁知道他们撞到我们四个连在一起，动不了了。只要我摆一下车子，就可以动了，但我就是偏不动。他们看着我，我又看一下他们，然后就不懒得理他们了。那时的我，还真想说活该！结束时，杰跟雯就问我怎么了？！我就跟他们说了，然后杰就大声说：“谁？在哪里？我帮你报仇！”我心里很高兴，然后就跟他说算了吧。玩的同时，我有跟horlick和文明传简讯。horlick还说我怎么可以一心将多用，我也没想到我也可以将的。嘻嘻。。。除此之外，云顶放的烟花，都好美哦。。。应该很贵吧。。。哈哈！
看烟花的时候，雯还跟我讲，如果跟男朋友看，应该很浪漫吧？！我心里顿时想起了他，我觉得如果真的会发生的话，应该也不错吧。刚刚跟他聊了一下天，但没想到先说"哦"的人，既然是我。老实说，我不是很想去学校，至少可以不用看到他。我很想看他，但是偷偷的看。当他望过来时，我的头又别另一边去了。我不明白为什么我会躲他，但又想跟他聊聊天。我很想知道我们到底会不会有当面说话的一天呢？希望会有这一天的到来吧。。。我跟他的沟通问题到底要怎样，几时才能解决呢？HAIZZzzz......
Friday, February 26, 2010
A Rainy Day
It is raining now and I am typing my blog to make myself feel better. When I am bad in mood, I always type my blog to make me feel better, but I will also share my happiness sometimes. Actually, Jeremy and Sean should come to my house but they can't. Jeremy said he no transpot and I don't knw the reason of Sean. Luckily, my third lp was coming to my house and we played ps2 as always. We had a lot of fun, even though it's a short time. HAIZZZzzz~~~ today's a public holiday, but still I need to go to tuition. It's quite boring for that.
I missed him a lot and I had a dream of him last night. In the dream, we talked to each other and we were laughing while we were talking. Suddenly, I fell asleep and he was looking at me. He touched me forehead while I was sleeping and I slept on his leg. After I woke up, I felt happy and sweet for that dream but I know it wouldn't happened in our reality life... But still thanks for the God gave me a nice, sweet dream. I will appreciate it as my precious.
这段日子里。。。
最近的我都在为家里的事而哭，让我觉得有点不想待在这个家了。虽然自己的潜意识里知道将的想法不好，但我真的控制不了自己。我没想过家里带给我的伤害既然比他还大。前几天我跟我爸大吵一架，吵到我连晚饭都不想去吃。我爸以为我是因为他没经我同意就开我红包而生气，但他一定没想到我是因为他所用的词语而生气吧。那天的我真的感到很失望，也很绝望。我一直压抑着我自己，到底是为了谁？！那时的我在想为什么要把真正的自己给埋没？！我一直很努力把黑暗的自己收起来，但爸所用的词语真的让我很心痛。我在想如果那时有谁给我一个拥抱，我一定会在那个人的怀里哭个够。每次我都好希望在我心情低落时，有个朋友可以给我一个拥抱，但我知道那是不可能会发生的。。。
今天学校举行越野赛跑，还瞒好玩的。虽然有点累啦，但很值得。我对自己今年的表现很失望，简直就是不满意。我的lp跟lg都得到奖牌，但我却落单。我对lg发誓我明年一定要跟他们一起拿到奖牌！我听choo跟dumb说，lg跑回来的时候，她的嘴唇是白的。我听到时，我有点担心。明知道自己。。。干嘛还要这么拼？！虽然很羡慕他们得到奖牌，但还是恭喜你们。明年一定会跟他们一起拿的！顺便一提，我收了一个干弟弟，还瞒高兴的说。但ml吃醋了，现在我都不懂要怎么办才好？！HAIZZZzzz...跟干弟弟和他那些朋友在一起时，我觉得好高兴哦~~~他还请我喝了一杯水^^
我跟lk又不懂怎么了？！我们好久没聊天了，他搞到我好像做了什么对不起他的事将？！我们大概有一个月没聊天了，这次真的破了大记录。通常我们都是有msn或者在学校闹来闹去的，但最近少了他，还真有点闷。现在回想起来，好像是我自从send了那封信息给他后，就变成将了。HAIZZzzz~~~那算不算是我的错呢？！我觉得他好会演戏，在lg面前跟我就好像跟平常没两样，但私底下跟我的时候，他就不理我了。连打招呼都没有，以往都是他主动找我的，但最近都没有了。。。真搞不懂他
今天我也好惊讶哦。他既然有来上课耶！老实说，我心里真的好高兴哦~~~还以为他是来跑的，但原来他是来拍照的。不知道他今天拍得怎样？！真想看，但应该都跟以前一样好看吧？！我觉得今天我又做了一件很白痴的事。在食堂时，我和他都还算在附近。所以我特地跟那些干弟玩得比较亲，看他会不会吃醋？！但。。。那怎么可能啊？！现在回想起来，我哪个举动还蛮天真白痴的= =" 哈哈~~~
今天学校举行越野赛跑，还瞒好玩的。虽然有点累啦，但很值得。我对自己今年的表现很失望，简直就是不满意。我的lp跟lg都得到奖牌，但我却落单。我对lg发誓我明年一定要跟他们一起拿到奖牌！我听choo跟dumb说，lg跑回来的时候，她的嘴唇是白的。我听到时，我有点担心。明知道自己。。。干嘛还要这么拼？！虽然很羡慕他们得到奖牌，但还是恭喜你们。明年一定会跟他们一起拿的！顺便一提，我收了一个干弟弟，还瞒高兴的说。但ml吃醋了，现在我都不懂要怎么办才好？！HAIZZZzzz...跟干弟弟和他那些朋友在一起时，我觉得好高兴哦~~~他还请我喝了一杯水^^
我跟lk又不懂怎么了？！我们好久没聊天了，他搞到我好像做了什么对不起他的事将？！我们大概有一个月没聊天了，这次真的破了大记录。通常我们都是有msn或者在学校闹来闹去的，但最近少了他，还真有点闷。现在回想起来，好像是我自从send了那封信息给他后，就变成将了。HAIZZzzz~~~那算不算是我的错呢？！我觉得他好会演戏，在lg面前跟我就好像跟平常没两样，但私底下跟我的时候，他就不理我了。连打招呼都没有，以往都是他主动找我的，但最近都没有了。。。真搞不懂他
今天我也好惊讶哦。他既然有来上课耶！老实说，我心里真的好高兴哦~~~还以为他是来跑的，但原来他是来拍照的。不知道他今天拍得怎样？！真想看，但应该都跟以前一样好看吧？！我觉得今天我又做了一件很白痴的事。在食堂时，我和他都还算在附近。所以我特地跟那些干弟玩得比较亲，看他会不会吃醋？！但。。。那怎么可能啊？！现在回想起来，我哪个举动还蛮天真白痴的= =" 哈哈~~~
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Chinese New Year Week
This week is holiday week, because of chinese new year. So I have a week of holiday and I need to help my mom to clean the house, it's quite tired for that. I watched three chinese new year movie with my family this week. Jay Chou act quite well in this movie"True Legend". I love Jay Chou very much and I support him since I was a little kid. He is longest time that I support an idol among of my favourite idols. I still have three chinese new movie that I want to watch it. I can't wait anymore... hahaha~~~
I hate horlick because of his words. I don't knw whether am I right that I always sms to him, but I just want to be friend with him. Plus, I don't knw what's he thinking?! At first, he made me scared of him because his words and actions it made me felt he likes me. I think lk noticed my feeling and keep telling weihoe doesn't like me, but one day lk told me all the advantages about him. Of course, I asked him to stop cause I really not interested in him. I hate the words that he used, he is quite same with lk. Is it most of the boys are like that?! I told him what kind of boy I like, I thought it will break his heart but he is tougher than I thought. I really hate this kind of realtionship and it's complicated. Who can help me?! Haizzzzz...
I am worrying of one thing now. I read his blog without sign out my blog and I am not sure whether it has the record or not. When I read his blog, I forgot that I haven't sign out. I am really regret for that. Haizzzz~~~ I msn to him, he didn't reply me at all and I don't knw why?! The conlusion that I get is maybe he read my blog but I hope it won't happen. I don't understand why he doesn't want to reply me?! Is he afraids of me? I really need an answer for that, cause I want to be friend with him. I don't want he same with jl. I don't want to lose a friend again cause I really can't take it anymore.
I hate horlick because of his words. I don't knw whether am I right that I always sms to him, but I just want to be friend with him. Plus, I don't knw what's he thinking?! At first, he made me scared of him because his words and actions it made me felt he likes me. I think lk noticed my feeling and keep telling weihoe doesn't like me, but one day lk told me all the advantages about him. Of course, I asked him to stop cause I really not interested in him. I hate the words that he used, he is quite same with lk. Is it most of the boys are like that?! I told him what kind of boy I like, I thought it will break his heart but he is tougher than I thought. I really hate this kind of realtionship and it's complicated. Who can help me?! Haizzzzz...
I am worrying of one thing now. I read his blog without sign out my blog and I am not sure whether it has the record or not. When I read his blog, I forgot that I haven't sign out. I am really regret for that. Haizzzz~~~ I msn to him, he didn't reply me at all and I don't knw why?! The conlusion that I get is maybe he read my blog but I hope it won't happen. I don't understand why he doesn't want to reply me?! Is he afraids of me? I really need an answer for that, cause I want to be friend with him. I don't want he same with jl. I don't want to lose a friend again cause I really can't take it anymore.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
放不下，就是放不下
要我不去想念我的眼镜，真的很难，毕竟它给了我这么多宝贵的回忆。有些朋友还说什么旧的不去，新的不来每当我会想起那些回忆时，真的使我很高兴。无论结果变得如何都不重要，最重要的是过程。只要一想到过程，我就觉得结果变得怎样，都无所谓了。我好恨我自己，为什么我会把眼镜弄不见呢？！我明明是很保护他，很疼他，但始终还是不见了。。。
我有做错些什么吗？msn给他都不会回信的。只想问他一些事情，他都不肯回我吗？！我真的越来越不知道要怎样处理了。。。开始有点乱了，谁可以来帮帮我？！
我有做错些什么吗？msn给他都不会回信的。只想问他一些事情，他都不肯回我吗？！我真的越来越不知道要怎样处理了。。。开始有点乱了，谁可以来帮帮我？！
Friday, February 12, 2010
A Sad Day That I Never Had It Before
Today is the last day of school, because chinese new year around the corner already. So, my school is going to have a short vacation to celebrate it. By the way, my school celebrated chinese new year too and zhenen is the speaker. Waooo~~~ it's really made me suprised and I can't believe it's truth. He really changed a lot, but his speaking was not bad and it's funny.
At the same time, I lost my spec and I can't find it. After I noticed, I asked vanessa accompanied me to find it but still I can't find the spec even though I tried harder and harder. I cried in the class, yewkin, karwei and looisun noticed I was crying. At first, I tried to stop but I can't. I really feel sad that my spec lost, I love my spec very much and there was a lot of memory between jl and me. That's the happiest school life and the sweetness love that I never had it before, but now already gone forever and ever.
They asked what happened, vaneesa helped me to answer it. Karwei asked me to calm down and tried to think wherever place I have been, but I already found those place I have been but still I can't find it. I remember this morning I was with kim until we back to our own classes. I cried in the class since a period but the luckiest is a few of my classmates noticed I was crying.
Few days already that I didn't see him at school. I wander why was he absent? Did he sick or any other reason? I want to know it but I am not the one who suppose to ask. I miss him a lot but he is opposite of me, cause I am not the lucky girl who's he wants to care and love. I msn to him just now but he didn't reply. Do you knw that will break my heart? I lost jl, u and my spec. What am I going to lose next?! I am really afraid of that. Please... I don't want to lose anything again cause it's really breaks my heart deeply. I can't take it anymore for that.
At the same time, I lost my spec and I can't find it. After I noticed, I asked vanessa accompanied me to find it but still I can't find the spec even though I tried harder and harder. I cried in the class, yewkin, karwei and looisun noticed I was crying. At first, I tried to stop but I can't. I really feel sad that my spec lost, I love my spec very much and there was a lot of memory between jl and me. That's the happiest school life and the sweetness love that I never had it before, but now already gone forever and ever.
They asked what happened, vaneesa helped me to answer it. Karwei asked me to calm down and tried to think wherever place I have been, but I already found those place I have been but still I can't find it. I remember this morning I was with kim until we back to our own classes. I cried in the class since a period but the luckiest is a few of my classmates noticed I was crying.
Few days already that I didn't see him at school. I wander why was he absent? Did he sick or any other reason? I want to know it but I am not the one who suppose to ask. I miss him a lot but he is opposite of me, cause I am not the lucky girl who's he wants to care and love. I msn to him just now but he didn't reply. Do you knw that will break my heart? I lost jl, u and my spec. What am I going to lose next?! I am really afraid of that. Please... I don't want to lose anything again cause it's really breaks my heart deeply. I can't take it anymore for that.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
你的热情与靠近，只会让我陷得更深，更害怕
今天又有补课了。。。闷！今天还真的是蛮惊讶的一天。放学后，上了车，妈就跟我说，今天没跳舞，因为奶奶出事了。我吓了一跳，而且我妈还说可能会中风。我第一次见我爸将驾车，简直就是恐怖！我今天也没去跳舞，毕竟要送我奶奶进医院，还有拜祭我婆婆。前几天还瞒惨的，都在生病，现在还好咯。。。我还蛮希望他会来关心我，虽然心里已经很清楚地明白这是不可能发生的事情。
ml问我，lk是否知道我生病了？！我当然不想给他知道我生病了。毕竟他的靠近只会让我喜欢上他而已。星期四那天，我不知道他到底是故意的还是什么之类的。原本他只把书包放在我附近，结果转眼间他老早就已经把他的书包搬来我隔壁了。你的靠近只会让我感到害怕而已，谁叫你绯闻太多了。你都已经有了一个女友，为什么不好好珍惜呢？！我听人家说有人喜欢你，但我还蛮替这位女生感到悲哀。作为朋友的，只希望他没选错人咯。。。
他还是跟以往一样，没什变。最近他都跟一个女学长一起放学，心里的醋意又来了。明明都说好要放弃他了，但我内心的深处还是放不下他。有时我也搞不清楚自己想要什么和不要什么了。目前为止我们还是一句话都没说过，几乎连眼神交流都没有了。每次都尽量克制自己别注意，但还是失败了。虽然做不成情侣，但还是希望他稍微会注意到我。求求你。。。别把我当透明，就好了。。。难道这样的请求也办不到吗？！
ml问我，lk是否知道我生病了？！我当然不想给他知道我生病了。毕竟他的靠近只会让我喜欢上他而已。星期四那天，我不知道他到底是故意的还是什么之类的。原本他只把书包放在我附近，结果转眼间他老早就已经把他的书包搬来我隔壁了。你的靠近只会让我感到害怕而已，谁叫你绯闻太多了。你都已经有了一个女友，为什么不好好珍惜呢？！我听人家说有人喜欢你，但我还蛮替这位女生感到悲哀。作为朋友的，只希望他没选错人咯。。。
他还是跟以往一样，没什变。最近他都跟一个女学长一起放学，心里的醋意又来了。明明都说好要放弃他了，但我内心的深处还是放不下他。有时我也搞不清楚自己想要什么和不要什么了。目前为止我们还是一句话都没说过，几乎连眼神交流都没有了。每次都尽量克制自己别注意，但还是失败了。虽然做不成情侣，但还是希望他稍微会注意到我。求求你。。。别把我当透明，就好了。。。难道这样的请求也办不到吗？！
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