A Sad Day That I Never Had It Before

Today is the last day of school, because chinese new year around the corner already. So, my school is going to have a short vacation to celebrate it. By the way, my school celebrated chinese new year too and zhenen is the speaker. Waooo~~~ it's really made me suprised and I can't believe it's truth. He really changed a lot, but his speaking was not bad and it's funny.

At the same time, I lost my spec and I can't find it. After I noticed, I asked vanessa accompanied me to find it but still I can't find the spec even though I tried harder and harder. I cried in the class, yewkin, karwei and looisun noticed I was crying. At first, I tried to stop but I can't. I really feel sad that my spec lost, I love my spec very much and there was a lot of memory between jl and me. That's the happiest school life and the sweetness love that I never had it before, but now already gone forever and ever.

They asked what happened, vaneesa helped me to answer it. Karwei asked me to calm down and tried to think wherever place I have been, but I already found those place I have been but still I can't find it. I remember this morning I was with kim until we back to our own classes. I cried in the class since a period but the luckiest is a few of my classmates noticed I was crying.       

Few days already that I didn't see him at school. I wander why was he absent? Did he sick or any other reason? I want to know it but I am not the one who suppose to ask. I miss him a lot but he is opposite of me, cause I am not the lucky girl who's he wants to care and love. I msn to him just now but he didn't reply. Do you knw that will break my heart? I lost jl, u and my spec. What am I going to lose next?! I am really afraid of that. Please... I don't want to lose anything again cause it's really breaks my heart deeply. I can't take it anymore for that. 

你的热情与靠近，只会让我陷得更深，更害怕

今天又有补课了。。。闷！今天还真的是蛮惊讶的一天。放学后，上了车，妈就跟我说，今天没跳舞，因为奶奶出事了。我吓了一跳，而且我妈还说可能会中风。我第一次见我爸将驾车，简直就是恐怖！我今天也没去跳舞，毕竟要送我奶奶进医院，还有拜祭我婆婆。前几天还瞒惨的，都在生病，现在还好咯。。。我还蛮希望他会来关心我，虽然心里已经很清楚地明白这是不可能发生的事情。

ml问我，lk是否知道我生病了？！我当然不想给他知道我生病了。毕竟他的靠近只会让我喜欢上他而已。星期四那天，我不知道他到底是故意的还是什么之类的。原本他只把书包放在我附近，结果转眼间他老早就已经把他的书包搬来我隔壁了。你的靠近只会让我感到害怕而已，谁叫你绯闻太多了。你都已经有了一个女友，为什么不好好珍惜呢？！我听人家说有人喜欢你，但我还蛮替这位女生感到悲哀。作为朋友的，只希望他没选错人咯。。。

他还是跟以往一样，没什变。最近他都跟一个女学长一起放学，心里的醋意又来了。明明都说好要放弃他了，但我内心的深处还是放不下他。有时我也搞不清楚自己想要什么和不要什么了。目前为止我们还是一句话都没说过，几乎连眼神交流都没有了。每次都尽量克制自己别注意，但还是失败了。虽然做不成情侣，但还是希望他稍微会注意到我。求求你。。。别把我当透明，就好了。。。难道这样的请求也办不到吗？！

Need To Clean House... Tired But Fun

I need to help my parents to clean the house, but I slept until 1p.m only woke up...haha~~~ Then I had a lunch with my parents. After I cleaned the house, it's feel tired but fun cause I did a lot of exercises. Then we watched the hongkong drama, it's quite funny. We went to supermarket and I bought some snacks too. Of course we had a dinner at outside, but I don't like the dishes. Haizzzz... How picky am I?! haha!!!

I still need to clean my house tomorrow, cause new year coming soon. I am getting more excited, cause I am going to move a new and bigger room. By the way, I need to some ideas to decorate my new room. Tomorrow, I also need to finish those homework that teacher gave us. By the way, tomorrow no school for wilayah students, cause it's a holiday for wilayah only.

I can't see him at school again T^T. Now I only knew he was going to Titiwangsa to take some photo today. Normally I went to jog with my family at Titiwangsa every Sunday. Luckily, we all need to clean house this week so we cancelled the jogging. It's quite lucky for that...hahaha!!! But those photo that he took is  quite nice. He really good in photography and I think he will become a phtographer... hehe~~~

~~~安静的夜晚~~~

今天，我又很迟才睡了。虽然我知道迟睡对身体不好，但就是不觉得累。刚考完试，感觉超开心的(虽然只是第一个预考)。一考完试，老师就很快地给了我们许许多多的功课。学校的生活还不错，班上的同学还约了我去打球，可惜啊~~~我不能去，因为要帮我妈拜神，而且也没去跳舞。。。HAIZzzz

最近还蛮倒霉的。。。naruto借给人，却被搞到不像样。。。虽然那个人一直跟我道歉，但当我打开来检查时，却发现里面的cd都已经花了。。。那时候的我真的真的很气，也很心痛，几乎想打人。。。我问他为什么会变成这样，但他却说不知道。。。之前盒子的保护层被他意外的撕掉，我也就算了。。。但怎么一次比一次更离谱啊！！！cd花了，盒子也被撕掉了一小块会儿。。。他说他想跟我买那个dvd，我斩钉载铁地跟她说：“这套戏的本价是RM100，我不会减价！你回去想清楚到底要不要买！”除此之外补习时，我一点声音都不想出，而且他还是做我隔壁的朋友。我恨不得大大力的打他，凶凶的骂他。。。但都强破性的忍住了。。。

我家里漏水，但好漏不漏，偏漏在我刚油漆的新房。我把ps2之类的电器放在那儿，结果没想到却发生漏水事件。当我看到时，就立刻冲进去，把我的ps2搬走。辛亏那时我想上楼绑头发，发现的早，没有很严重；但我还没试那架ps2，所以不知道还能不能用。我拿出去抹，放在一边，好让他晒干。而且我不能将快搬进那新房间了，怕他还会漏水。只希望那架ps2还能用，要不然我会很心痛。。。

之前我传了一封我到现在都不知道该不该传的信息给lk。。。我跟他说，我希望他不要在学校将弄我了。毕竟我不想被人误会，况且ys还怀疑他是在追我，还是什么之类的烂猜测。ml一直跟我说，他并不是一个好情人，只因为他的举动看起来很花心？！之前我也是将觉得，但我对他已经有了别的看法。我对传绯闻是没什么，但我最害怕的就是跟一个有女友的男生传绯闻。自从健理那件事和kim那件事以后，我就很怕了。。。我真的不想再给那班八婆说我是第三者！

现在回想起来，我已经有一，两个星期，没找他聊天了但他也没找我。说实在的我还蛮希望我们变成情侣的，但已经不可能了。。。毕竟我不是他的那一杯茶，况且我们的性格还蛮有差别的。现在的我也不清楚自己是否真的那么喜欢他了？！我真的很希望我们可以变回以前那时候，至少他还肯做弄我。。。

~~~A Tired Day~~~

Yesterday was Saturday, but still need to go to school. It's quite fun cause I chated with a lot of friends. Haizzz~~~ the worst is teachers gave a lot of homework during the exam. I am going to cry...wuwuwu~~~ After that, I went to dancing class and I danced 3 hours non-stop. Danced with the lyrics,it's harder than I thought. It is a new challenge to me, but I like it very much. During the evening, I had a dinner with my family. We ate steamfood and I ate a lot...haha~~~ Now, I need to keep fit...wuwuwu

Today is Sunday. I am going to move in a new room, actually it's my brother room, but he moved to a new house since last year. They are painting my new room now. I hope they can finish as soon as possible^^ I can't wait to see my new room.

Haizzzz... He absent to school on Friday and Saturday. Few days ago, he was sick but I didn't ask him anything this time even though I am care of him. He is quite easy to get sick, but I can't help him anything. I want give up and stop thinking about him, so I always keep away myself from him. But still it's useless, I am still caring of him. However I should concentrate in my studies now, because I need to face a lot of exam recently. Haizzz 

不想打了。。。累了~~~

sy~~~好感谢你哦。。。你说的对，我不应该将子去看他，况且我已经被他拒绝啦。。。原来我不是那么喜欢他的，我没想过我把他的照片删掉了，只剩几张而已。。。我发觉自从我跟他告白了以后，觉得整个人都轻松了，但在学校我们还是没有讲话。。。

最近受的伤太多了。。。前几天只想提醒lk记得拿书给我，没想到那死人头既然在开我们玩笑，说得我们很暧昧。。。你这个玩笑到底要开几次啊！你已经给了我伤口，难道还要撒盐吗？！你知不知道我的伤口一直在流血啊！

我不想打了，好想退社，但kim又说别为了sl他们而退社，你将说是没错。。。但我气的不是因为这个，而是因为。。。我不懂要怎样说。。。那句话有点伤，只会令我更想退社而已。。。抱歉挂了你的电话，现在回想起来那是我第一次挂你电话耶。。。我不会令你难做，如果sl要你跟他，那就跟他吧，不用管我。。。

每次在我最需要人陪的时候，都没有人在。。。惟有空虚的音乐与咸咸的泪水在陪伴着我而已。。。好希望有人可以借我肩旁，也可以让我在他怀里大哭一场。。。

School Days Of First Week

A week already past... I am quite happy this week cause I am having a party on sunday(10 of Jan) and my sis and I birthday the next day... haha~~~ I think I am going to buy her a special present seem she is my little cute sis^^ By the way, we are going to exchange present too.

HAIZzz... even though we saw each other at school, we also won't talk to each other or look at each other. Sy said we are weird when we met or near by, we won't said hello or anything. I thought he is the one who will avoid to see me, but I never thought before the person is me not him. When I saw him, I ran away and sometimes I don't even look at him when he was around me.

I don't knw why?! I prefer look at him from a far of distance, maybe I was timid at the moment... Today, lk and him are quite weird. Both of them keep looking that side that where I sat this morning, but still don't knw who are they looking?! Hope sometimes he will notice me that I always care about him...

By the way, my birthday is coming soon~~~ I wish I may get straight A in PMR and he will talk to me at school...