希望你会看到~~~

当初很辛苦才拿到你的msn，但最近找你聊天，都不回我。。。看到你对其他女生好，我只能吃醋，但又不能告诉你~~~我的心在喊痛，在流血。。。难道你都听不见，看不见吗？你一次又一次的伤害我，我却一次又一次的受伤。。。最终也只能在暗地里哭泣。。。
今天，明明看见了我，也不跟我打招呼~~~放学时，明明站在你后面，却不理我。。。就连看我一眼，你也办不到吗？！对你的感情一天比一天增加，受的伤也一天比一天痛。。。我不奢望你会接受我，只希望至少我们会成为最好的朋友~~~你知道吗？世界上最遥远的距离不是什么生离死别，而是你不知道我一直都在你身边。。。你却一而再，再而三的忽视我。。。

或许不属于自己的东西，始终都不属于自己的~~~放弃会是最好的选择吗？

An Isomnious Night

When I read an e-mail sent by clk, my tears were coming out from my eyes. I didn't have any confidence to tell him, my true feeling at the moment. I felt like I must not tell him my true feeling never and ever. When he is online, I was so happy and excited, yet I don't know what kind of topic to chat with him. When I saw him good to a girl, my heart was full of jealous. One day, I hope he knows my feeling by his own... Now, I really can't sleep... If can I want to cry now... 

当开心遇上悲伤时。。。

最近在学校的心情，还算不错。。。^^看到他，心情也变好很多~~~但只要他在附近，我就很害羞，而且我发觉我自己越来越不敢正视他>_<. 终于有他的msn了，可以跟他聊天。。。好笑的是他今天才知道，"liyen"跟"aunty"其实是同一个人。。哈哈！我真的好羡慕他，既然可以跟朋友一起弄一个网站[http://klren.com.my]而且还蛮好玩的。。。好希望可以跟他有进一步的发展。。。^_^

但最近在家的心情，却一次比一次的沉重，哭的次数也越来越多。。。我哥好象已经察觉到我有暗恋的人，但同时我也发觉自从我上了中学以后，我的父母好像越来越不相信我，尤其是我爸。。。我不明白为什么？！我已经很克制我自己，尽量不去学坏，但你们好象看不到正在幸苦克制自己的我。。。我妈说了一句很伤我心的话，她说:“那些宝宝很可爱，只要一个小小的动作就已经可以逗得大人很开心了，因为每一个宝宝都不一样。”相对的，为什么你们不去看看我们这些稍微大一点的“宝宝”的另外一面呢？妈，您这几句话真的把我的心击碎了。。。或许我还没为人父母，没资格说这些，但只是想要你们稍微看一下我们的内心世界，看一下我们好的一面。。。真的有那么困难吗？

Vanessa's Birthday Party

Wednesday[23/9]
That day, I bought a tiramisu cake to vanessa secretly. After I arrived Time Square, I called to dicklin and two of us thinking where should we cut the cake. Unfortunately, vanessa saw me at downstairs. Dicklin and me played "hide and seek" with vanessa. But still, she found us and she hugged me with her suprised face. By the way, dicklin and me planned this planing 2 weeks ago. When I appeared, vanessa's heart was full of touching at the moment (she almost wanted to cry XD)

By the way, kuo koon, ryan, lim and jianli at there too. So, we cut the cake at Mc.Donald but we didn't buy any drinks or food...hahaha! Actually, I am the one who really suprised jl was going to the party!_! I thought he was not going because of something?_? Then, we seperated (girls with girls, boys with boys). We went to Sungai Wang for shopping, by the way we also met weihan shopping with her friends.

When we walked back to Time Square, don't know what kind of worker ask us donate some money. One of them introduced the function to me but I hated him very much!!! When he heard vanessa and me spoke in English, he said we were so "high class"?! Why doesn't he think this is a common lauguage!? He said I was cute because of my red face, I am fine with that. Then, he's keep touching my face, closing to me. He asked me, did I have a bf? I hated those actions that he did to me and it made me felt sick, even though my ex-bf also hasn't touch my face before!!! MISTER! THIS IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS WHETHER I HAVE A BF OR NOT!!!

给最在乎的人

今天ts又没来上课了，都快要pmr了，还常缺课><。。。好想问他，为什么昨天脸特别黑？？！但又不敢，心情真复杂。。。看到你脸将黑，想跟你说一些东西，都没勇气了~~~好心你笑多一点啦~~~ xp

喜欢一个人，真的好辛苦哦~他可以为你带来笑容，也可以为你带来泪水。。。到现在，我还是不知道要怎样暗示他才好？？！又不知道他是否也跟我有一样的想法呢？！不敢想象他知道了我的心意后，会有什么反应？！要怎样暗示他，也是一个问题了。。。如果我第一个喜欢的人是你，那该有多好？但命运偏偏要我遇上了不该遇的人，才遇到你。。。如果遇上他是一场悲剧，我宁愿永远都不要遇上他。。。Haiz~~~~~

Vanessa要搞生日party，我当然会去咯。。。但当他告诉我，jl有去时，我却犹豫了是否应该去了。。。每当我看到他，都会让我觉得以前的我真的很白痴。。。真不明白他为什么到现在都不肯跟我说话，也不说出当时分开的原因？？！真的好可惜哦~失去了将的一个朋友。。。你真的要恨我直到你离开这世界为止吗？

今天先分享将多吧。。。下次再见咯~~~
注释；本人是一次写英文，一次写华语de~~~

Feeling Of School Days

The first school day I was absent because of sick, but I felt happy. The reason is I not need to see someone that I afraid. Haiz.... At the same time, I also can't see him because of absent. Vanessa told me, he was absent too on that day. The next day I came school but can't see him at school. Finally, he came school the next day. I felt happy and good mood all the day..^_^

During the recess time, I was having breakfast with my friends. I forgot what does meiling said after her words, I wanted to laugh but my mouth was full of food. If I laugh....... I can't imagine what will happen next. Therefore, I forced myself don't laugh and ask meiling stop to make me laugh. Unfortunately, TS was passing beside us. He laughed to me while he was walking. Haizzzz.... I felt happy at the moment, but timid. Today, I asked kar wei, is it the best choice that I tell him my true feeling? Kar Wei disagree because she scare that I will get hurt. Haizzz~~~~~~

Haiz... History teacher(Pn. Harlina) changed places. Of course I am one of those "lucky persons". Actually, I feel quite happy at the moment because I not need sit near by the person that I fear. Of course, some of my friends were crying and angry. Jia Wen was crying on that day because of the teacher changed her place in front of the teacher seat and all Indian and Penjabi were sit around her. These days, she was cutting her hand and crying. I felt sad to her and I can felt the deeply painful in my heart. Beside that, she was begging me with tears to help her to ask the permission to change back her original place. I saw lonely and desperation in her eyes, although she said she will cut her hand if I fail the mission. But still I was so pity of her at the moment, even though she said like that to me.I am so scare not because of her threaten, it's because of me. I really scare my mission fail. I scare that I can't help her.

Hmmm....... How should I choose? Tell him my true feeling? Keep as a secret forever or let the fate choose?>_< I hope the GOD bless me to success my promise and the FATE give me the best answer.  

假期的点点滴滴

假期过的还算满好玩的。。。不过想遇到的，应该遇到的朋友却没有遇到，反而超不想遇到的朋友差不多都遇到了~无奈。。。真心想当我朋友的人，就知道我说的这些人是谁啦~~~

开心的事：
8月29日，vanessa, vanessa's brother还有我一起去打篮球了(虽然本人球技很烂啦~)哈哈！！！我们打得还算满开心的...然后，vanessa找到了我超想要看到的人的照片。。。我超开心的^^
过后，我和kim还有她超可爱的妹妹还一起去唱k(简直high翻天了)，而且还遇到我妹(ai leen)和嘉雯她们。。。

8月30日，我们整家人一起去云顶看烟花．那些烟花满美的，而且还放十分钟咧．．．哈哈^^
除此之外，我，kar wei还有她帅气的弟弟在theme park一起玩完所有刺激性的东西，例如说跳楼机。。。说到这儿，我还满佩服kar wei的。。。她第一次玩，可是她并不说很怕哦～～～佩服！佩服！佩服！

Emmm。。。伤心的事就不想多说啦，就让它陪伴时间吧。。。这次就写到这儿，下次再见。。拜拜咯～～～